Not to be taken seriously

IDIOT OUTSIDE
when you sit before computer the computer will say only this...

Favourite Pass Time !!!

" The doctor said he would have me on my feet in two weeks."
"And did he....?"
"Yes, I had to sell the car to pay the bill."


The policeman spotted a jay walker and decided to challenge him:
"Why are you trying to cross here when there's Zebra crossing only fifty feet away?
" Well", replied the jay walker , "I hope it's having better luck than me".
Courtesy:Fevorit

Bond Faints

Once it so happened on a flight that James Bond was sitting beside a Telugu guy. Both were traveling to the US.

Telugu Guy : \"Hello, May I know your good name please?\"

James Bond : \"My name\'s Bond..(smiles and then says).... James Bond.\"

James Bond: \"And you?\"

Telugu Guy : \"I am Sai...

Venkata Sai...

Siva Venkata Sai...

Laxminarayana Siva Venkata Sai....

Srinivasula Laxminarayana Siva Venkata Sai...

Rajasekhara Srinivasula Laxminarayana Siva Venkata Sai.....

Sitaramanjaneyula Rajasekhara Srinivasula Laxminarayana Siva Venkata Sai....

Bommiraju Sitaramanjaneyula Rajasekhara Srinivasula Laxminarayana Siva Venkata Sai....

James Bond faints

Cricket Dhamaka

Cricket

When Cricketer Gavaskar finds out that there is a movie in Australia called 'Gavaskar,' he is very happy. He plans to watch it and gets a ticket for Australia at once. With great difficulty he manages to get a ticket and very happily he goes to see the movie. But when he comes out of the cinema he is very angry!

He goes straight to the director of the movie and says, 'What do you mean by this? You named your movie `Gavaskar`, but didn’t show anything about me in it!'

The director of the movie laughs and says, 'So now you understand the problem? You people too made a movie called `Border`, but did you show anything about 'Allan Border' in it?'

mental powers PHYSICS

How To Catch A Lion

1. Newton's Method:
Let, the lion catch you. For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. This implies you have caught the lion (Assuming that you're alive).

2. Einstein Method:
Run in the direction opposite to that of the lion. Due to higher relative velocity, the lion will also run faster and will get tired soon. Now you can trap it easily.

3. Schrodinger Method:
At any given moment, there is a positive probability that the lion should be in the cage. So set the trap, sit down and wait.

4. Inverse Transformation Method:
We place a spherical cage in the forest and enter it. Perform an inverse transformation with respect to lion. Lion's in and we are out!

5. Thermodynamic Procedure:
We construct a semi-permeable membrane which allows every thing to pass in it except the lions. Then sweep the entire forest with it.

6. Integration Differentiation Method: (my personal favorite)
Integrate the forest over the entire area. The lion is somewhere in the result. So differentiate the result PARTIALLY w.r.t. the lion to trace out the lion

Never help a techie

1 Never help a techie

There is a good old barber in India. One day a florist goes to him for a haircut. After the cut, he goes to pay the barber and the barber replies: `I am sorry, I cannot accept money from you; I am doing a Community Service`. Florist is happy and leaves the shop.

The next morning when the Barber goes to open his shop, there is a Thank You Card and a dozen roses waiting at his door.

A Confectioner goes for a haircut and he also goes to pay the barber he again refuses to take the money. The Confectioner is happy and leaves the shop.

The next morning when the Barber goes to open his shop, there is a Thank you Card and a dozen Cakes waiting at his door.

A Software Engineer goes for a haircut and he also goes to pay the barber again refuses the money saying that it was a community service. The next morning when the Barber goes to open his shop, guess what he finds there......

A Dozen Software engineers waiting for a free haircut... with printouts of forwarded mail mentioning about free haircut.